Funny thing happened a few weeks ago that I cannot stop thinking about. I was at work and speaking to a lady whom I had never met. I was making small talk and that was it. I have no idea why but she pretty much told me her whole life recent life story. It turned out that she was dealing with the after effects of an abusive relationship. She has been to the group home and still nearly two years after leaving she was not even close to thinking of a new relationship. Actually the thought made her shake. I had never thought of this before. How long the after effects of abuse stayed with you or if they ever leave.
The more I thought about it the whole thing made sense to me. This is especially after I thought of the emotional aspect of it. A man or woman has been dealing with certain abuses all their life and that is what makes us all different. It starts actually when we are kids and receiving it from either friends of family. Then it may progress through our adult years. How it is dealt with all depends on our mental makeup.
Does it ever leave? The answer is,”No”. When a person is on the receiving end and it is from a person that was suppose to support, love and share, the effects are worse. How can a person believe in themselves when the person who was supposed to be with them just made it worse? Friends, family, lovers, and partners are the people who are supposed to protect not contribute.
The abused person does not know who to believe or go to. They are mentally tired, scarred, withdrawn and ashamed. One of the most devastating parts about this, is that the abused person will go from person to person and receiving more of it because that is what they believe what they deserve when the opposite is in fact true.
More importantly, when someone does enter their life and treats them properly, the abused does not know what to do at all. In some cases, they will destroy it themselves because they feel they are not worthy. This outlook takes years to go away and for some people it never leaves.
Something to think about when you meet a person and they are quiet about their past and when you touch them, they flinch. It is the people that came before you, not you. Try to understand.
